My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
