she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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