i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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