I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
