Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
