We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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