Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
