Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
