three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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