Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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