question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
