my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
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