Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize