Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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