Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
