Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
How drunk are you?
Completed.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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