Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
