You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Randomize
