I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
