so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
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