apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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