Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
