im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize