She's JV to your varsity
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
it was like eating out sand paper
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
