Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize