best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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