P.S. I can't hear my feet
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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