You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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