Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
