we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Your cock deserves a montage
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
