Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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