I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Best friends brother. Beat that.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
