What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
