If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
