This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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