Please, let me fuck your mom
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
