I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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