so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
