Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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