Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
