I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize