There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize