The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
