i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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