I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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