he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
