We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i believe in u and ur pee
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