Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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