I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
