Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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