we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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