is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
