i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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