google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
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