I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
