Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
porn star boner night. come get it.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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