dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
