Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
