I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
