...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
