He is such a slut. More and more my type.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
