I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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