I love black thongs
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
