There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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