its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
