Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The uberlube is also flammable
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize
