I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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