Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
