So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
