In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
