Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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