I feel like I'm in dance class right now
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
