If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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