He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You dont lie about slip and slides
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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