i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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