I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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